Struggling to Stay Patient? What to Do When It Feels Like Your Goals Are Taking Forever
Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right, but your goals still feel sooo far away? The frustrating gap between the effort you’re making and the results you want that make you start to second guess yourself.
I've been there! When I was still working in my full-time job and building my business alongside it, I always used to think why is it all not happening yet! Patience was a muscle I really had to spend time developing and strengthening.
I have seen people time and time again give up on their dreams because it’s not happening quick enough, but I don’t want that to happen to you! Patience is a skill you can develop with the right mindset and strategies – let me explain.
Why Waiting Feels So Painful
Firstly, I want to get to the nitty gritty of why patience is difficult to hopefully you can approach it and yourself with a little more love and self-compassion.
Our Brain's Reward System
We have evolved to prefer immediate rewards over delayed gratification. Our brain's dopamine system responds more strongly to quick wins than distant possibilities, which is why scrolling social media often feels more appealing than working on long-term projects.
This could show up for you when you choose to answer unimportant emails (immediate completion reward) over writing content for your website (delayed, uncertain reward).
The Invisibility of Progress
In the most meaningful areas of our life, progress happens beneath the surface wayy before visible results appear. The Chinese bamboo tree grows just one inch in its first four years, then suddenly shoots up 80 feet in just a few weeks. You may think the first four years are unproductive, but they are absolutely essential to build a strong foundation for growth. This is why I emphasise creating a strong supportive mindset and learning how to regulate your nervous system – other people might not notice it but it is foundation for building your own business, achieving your goals and creating the life you want. And I promise you, you will notice the difference.
Uncertainty About the Timeline
Most of us struggle with uncertainty so when that’s linked with waiting to achieve a meaningful goal, it’s a double whammy of stress! If you knew exactly when your when all your dreams were going to become a reality, then patience would probably be a lot easier. Uncertainty will challenge your patience in ways that defined waiting periods don't.
Social Comparison in the Digital Age
Nothing kills patience faster than watching others (seemingly) achieve overnight what you've been working toward for months, even years. Social media heightens this SO much by showing us highlight reels of people’s success without necessarily showing the consistent effort and struggles that got them there.
The Identity Gap
A huge part of the discomfort in waiting is you have to sit in the in-between, no longer identifying fully with your old self but not fully embodying the person you’re becoming. This state of transition can feel never-ending and really uncomfortable. You’re ready for more and you’re motivated by the shift you’re making so you want to rush the process but often it can take time to really embed these changes in your identity. It can’t be rushed!
Strategies for Cultivating Patience
So how do you develop your patience muscle? Here are the approaches that have made the biggest difference for me and my clients:
1. Reframe waiting
When you think about waiting for your goals to become your reality, it feels like a passive act and let’s be honest, a bit of a drain. I want you to reframe waiting as the ESSENTIAL period after you’ve planted your seeds (your goals) and important development is happening beneath the surface. Whether you call this your development phase, incubation period or growth state, that is up to you. Choose something which resonates with you and helps to remind you that things are happening whether you can see them or not.
Remember the bamboo tree - this time is needed for incredible growth!
For me, I see the waiting periods as times of integration, of what I’ve learnt, how I’ve changed, who I’m becoming.
2. Focus on the process, not the timeline
I want you to practice shifting your focus from when you’re going to achieve your goal to how you’re approaching the journey. You can do this by:
Celebrating milestones during your process, rather than just when you’ve achieved the goal – how can you cultivate that excited, abundant, grateful energy throughout rather than just at the end
Finding joy in the daily activities and small steps you’re taking
Measuring success by your consistency and the effort you’re making, not just your results
Ultimately, how you show up every day when you’re building your business is within your control, when it’s going to become a huge success is not. Focus on what you can control.
3. Create visual progress markers
Our brains crave evidence of progress. When results aren't immediately visible, you can create your own progress markers to meet this need, help your mind feel like you’re achieving something and make patience easier.
Methods that have worked for me and clients include:
Tracking systems (like marking an X on a calendar for each day you practice)
Progress journals documenting small wins and learnings
Before-and-after comparisons at regular intervals
Milestone celebrations for effort, not just outcomes
4. Identify your impatience triggers
We will all have our own specific impatience triggers that send us into a complete spiral, being aware of yours can help you recognise when you might be triggered and how to support yourself. Some examples are:
Seeing others achieve similar goals more quickly
Scrolling on a competitors’ social media
Reaching plateaus after periods of growth
Receiving rejections or no response
When do you notice yourself questioning your goals, feeling frustrated things aren’t happening quick enough and you feel like “what’s the point”?
Once you’ve identified these triggers, think about how you can support yourself in that moment. This could be taking a few deep regulating breaths, reminding yourself of how far you’ve come, acknowledging that this is a trigger and redirecting your attention back to yourself and your path. You could create a note or voicenote on your phone with a pep talk for yourself anytime you slip into this impatience spiral.
5. Create patience beliefs
There are going to be periods of waiting in life so the quicker you can shift your beliefs to be ok with this, the better. Some beliefs I love are:
I have infinite patience, trust and faith.
Everything is happening at the perfect time.
This is where the magic happens.
I trust the process and my ability to persist.
Growth happens in the plateau.
My seeds need to develop roots before they can bloom.
Every day I am getting closer to my dreams becoming my reality.
Incredible things are happening beneath the surface.
Use some of these or create your own and write them somewhere you can see them regularly and especially during moments of doubt. I love to stick post it notes on my mirror in my office with these little reminders. The more you repeat these to yourself the more they will go into your unconscious mind and just be the way you see the world.
6. Practice micro-patience daily
A great way to develop your patience muscles is through daily micro-patience practices. Essentially, this is finding small ways in everyday situations that you can practice waiting rather than being constantly go-go-go (which we can all be guilty of!). This could be:
Doing a task on its own instead of multi-tasking
Choosing the longer line at the supermarket intentionally
Waiting fully for someone to finish speaking before beginning your response
Practising being patient when stuck in traffic (not always easy but good practice!)
Most of us like things to be quick so this is about going against the grain, doing something crazy like actually slowing down. This can be transformative!
7. Take action
One of the best ways to support you in your journey while you’re waiting is to be able to connect to what you are actually doing in order to achieve your goals and this means one thing, you need to take action.
Waiting and doing nothing is not going to help you get there. And we don’t need to take this to an extreme, of working non-stop, forgetting about your wellbeing and mental health.
I want you to honestly answer: what action can I take that will have the biggest positive impact on me achieving my goals?
How can you start to action this on a consistent basis, one that feels aligned to you, your capacity and energy levels. By taking this action, you can remind yourself of everything you are achieving and all the magic that will be building.
Learnings in the Waiting Period
As you move from goal to goal, focusing on the vision ahead of you, the life you’re so excited to create, the waiting period often gets forgotten about or not viewed as the “good” part, no matter how many times people tell you to enjoy the journey. I get it, they’re often not as exciting but I do truly believe there are so many learnings in the waiting period.
I know my waiting periods have…
Given me the opportunity to strengthen my patience muscle, not just say I’m patient
Helped me re-calibrate after a big period of growth and integrate the shifts in my identity, business, life
Built my resilience and helped me to learn how to navigate periods where my motivation can’t be driven by ticking off big goals
Allowed me the space to reflect on my vision and version of success as my life naturally evolves
Perhaps we need to reframe patience, not just as being ok with waiting, but as:
Building the life you want + trusting this will come + enjoying life in the meantime
So if you're in that challenging gap between consistent effort and visible results, remember that this period isn't a detour from your path, it is your path. Your seeds are growing, whether you can see them or not.
What seeds are you planting today?
You can book a free discovery call to find out how I can support you to cultivate your patience and achieve your big goals. I have so much faith in you!
