Feeling Stuck? How to Find Your Motivation
Ever felt like you're trudging through quicksand? You used to have energy and purpose, but now there's just heaviness. Each task feels overwhelmingly huge and the spark that used to get you out of bed in the morning seems to have faded.
Let’s be honest, that familiar feeling of being stuck isn’t very nice but once in a while it comes up. I have times where it feels like there’s no stopping me and others where I feel like I’ve hit a wall and have no idea what to do or where to start.
We tend to view being stuck as a failure, a problem that needs to be fixed as quickly as possible. But what if your stuckness is actually trying to tell you something important?
Before turning to productivity hacks or setting new goals, take a moment to read this blog and reflect on what the stuckness is actually trying to tell you. Then try some of my tried and tested ways to re-find your spark.
The Different Flavors of Stuck
Not all stuckness is the same. Understanding which type you're experiencing will help you create the best path forward.
Value Misalignment Stuckness: This happens when you're pursuing goals that don't actually matter to you at a deep soul level. You might be chasing someone else's definition of success.
Overwhelm Stuckness: When you have too many options or the path forward feels too complex, your motivation system can shut down entirely.
Burnout Stuckness: After prolonged stress without adequate recovery, your inner resources become depleted, leaving nothing to fuel you to move forwards.
Fear-Based Stuckness: Sometimes we stall because moving forward triggers deep fears. This could be of failure, success, being seen, being judged or of change.
Transition Stuckness: During major life transitions, it's normal to experience a period that feels a little stagnant as your identity and direction shift and realign.
We can all go through all of these at different times. Which one resonates the most with you right now? This can give you a clue about how you can best support yourself to find a way forwards.
The Cycles of Motivation
One of the most liberating realisations for me was understanding that motivation isn't a constant state, it's naturally cyclical for everyone. Just like nature has seasons of growth, harvest, rest and renewal, our energy and drive also move through different phases.
Sometimes we're in a season of active growth and achievement. We’re pursuing goals and it feels like there’s no stopping us and other times we’re in a period of integrating, where we’re embodying everything we’ve learnt and become, integrating changes and experiences, gathering resources and preparing for the next cycle of growth. Just like nature we NEED these periods and we’re not going backwards during them, we’re preparing ourselves so we can propel forwards.
Recognising which season you're in can help you work with your natural rhythms rather than against them. If you're in a winter season, forcing spring-like productivity will only deplete and frustrate you further. Instead, honour the season you're in while trusting that spring will come again.
How to Find Your Motivation
Getting unstuck isn't about forcing yourself back into taking action or constantly criticising your lack of progress. It's about gently reconnecting with what makes you feel alive. Here's what I’ve learnt through coaching numerous clients through stuckness back to motivation:
1. Honour the stuckness
Instead of fighting against your stagnation, try staying with it. Acknowledge that it might be coming up for a reason, and if it were, what would its message to you be.
Try journalling on the following:
What might this stuckness be protecting you from?
If your lack of motivation could speak, what would it say?
What are you being invited to reconsider or release?
Stuckness is resistance and when we meet that with further resistance, i.e. trying to push through, it is resistance meeting resistance. This can often lead to feel more pressure building up. I know it’s often uncomfortable to accept and stay in the stuckness but very often by honouring, acknowledging and listening to what the message is, the quicker you can move through it.
2. Release the shoulds
Even though feeling stuck can be so frustrating it can give you a moment to pause and reflect on what you’re actually focusing on in life. I spoke with a client the other day who had such a lightbulb moment when she realised many of her goals were based on "shoulds" rather than authentic desires:
I should want a good title
I should be further along by now
I should be more excited about these opportunities
Make a list of everything you're pursuing in life right now and ask yourself - "what do I truly want if no one were watching or judging me?"
3. Reconnect with your body
Stagnation often shows up as a disconnection between mind and body. Your intellectual mind may be pushing towards certain goals, while your body and emotions are putting the brakes on.
These simple practices have allowed me to reconnect with my body, slow down and realise I don’t always need to be go-go-go:
Daily slow walks in nature without listening to anything
Sitting in my garden sipping a cup of chai
Dancing around the house
Focusing on my breath throughout the day
Baking delicious sweet treats
Asking "what does my body need right now?"
4. Find activities that make you feel alive
Think about how you can fill your week with little moments that make you feel alive. Essentially things that bring you joy, energises you and makes you feel more like yourself. Make a list of all the activities that have created a sense of flow or joy in the past for you and choose one to do each day, with zero expectation of productivity or an outcome.
For me, I love doing something creative like painting or embroidery.
5. Create momentum
When you’re stuck, even small actions can feel overwhelming. The key is to make the first step so small, it almost feels laughable.
You can build momentum by starting the day with something small, ticking that off, feeling a sense of accomplishment and feeling more motivated to go onto your next task. How can you start your day in this way? And how can you break down your tasks to tiny steps that feel easy to do?
This is about removing resistance and taking micro-steps.
6. Redefine success
When we're stuck, we often beat ourselves up for not making "progress". How can you reframe success to be about being in alignment rather than constantly moving forwards?
Try creating a different metric for your days. Instead of asking "was I productive today?" try asking:
Did you honour what you truly needed today?
Did you act in alignment with your values in some small way?
Did you notice and appreciate moments of joy, beauty or connection?
Did you take one small step that felt authentic?
Deeper Questions for Lasting Motivation
Sometimes stagnation is an opportunity to reflect on those deep and meaningful questions about your life and the direction you’re going in. Sometimes we avoid this because we think it’s going to be hard work or lots of change which can feel daunting, which I totally get. Know that you can take it one small step at a time.
Put some music on, make a nice cup of tea, get cosy and reflect on the following:
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
What did you love doing as a child?
What makes you lose track of time?
Who do you envy, and what specifically do you envy about them?
If nothing in your life changes, what would you regret when you retire/on your deathbed?
If you had one year to live, what would change about your priorities?
Finding Your Way Forward
Remember, motivation isn't something you either have or don't have. Sometimes your motivation is going to be bursting out of you and other times you can’t even do the most basic tasks on your to-do list.
The fact that you're reading this means you're already taking the first step. Trust that each small movement forwards creates momentum for the next. Be patient with yourself. You’ve got this!
For tailored support to help you move through your stuckness and find your motivation again book a free discovery call.
