My Advice On How To Actually Let Go
Do you feel like people are constantly saying you just need to let it go but you keep thinking HOW???
I can totally relate! When you’re struggling to let something go and truly move on, and the only advice people give is let it go, it can feel like you’re hitting your head against a brick wall. If you knew how to let it go you would right?! In 2021 I made it my mission to figure out how I could actually let things go. I didn’t want to hold onto these weights I was dragging around with me anymore and I knew releasing these things would open up space in my life to welcome incredible things in.
I really want to emphasise it’s not a one size fits all – I recommend trying out the below and seeing what helps you. Be patient and always show yourself compassion.
Neutralise the Emotion
When you have a lot of emotion attached to a particular person or event you can feel very triggered when you think about it. It’s almost like you get pulled right back to what happened and how you felt at the time. When you don’t process this emotion, it’s bubbling away inside of you, ready to overflow at any point, which makes it really hard to let go.
Something that really helped me was neutralising the emotions attached to specific events that I wanted to move on from. So instead of feeling triggered by them or similar situations, I felt neutral. When you feel neutral towards a person or event it is a lot easier to let it go.
There is a specific coaching process I use for this for myself and with many of my clients and the results can be incredible! Feel free to get in touch with me here if you want to discuss how I could support you with this – depending on the situation this may be something we could do in a 90 Minute Session.
Another way you can release negative emotions and stuck energy associated with the thing you want to let go, is through EFT Tapping. You can find an example of an EFT Tapping session on my Instagram here.
Give Yourself Time & Space
Just because everyone else is saying you have to move on, doesn’t mean you should have moved on yesterday! Give yourself the time and space to work through what happened and acknowledge how you felt. This might look like having a good cry, journaling down your thoughts, meditating, allowing yourself time to think and speaking to someone else, whether it’s a friend, coach or therapist.
Keep reminding yourself there is no rush but each day you are letting this go.
Recognise Fear
Letting go of things can be incredible empowering and also a part of you might feel scared. Scared of what may come up, scared of how you’ll feel, how you might change, who you might become. If this resonates then instead of fighting this fear and thinking you should just get over it, comfort this scared part of you.
What does that scared part of you need to hear, feel, know, experience, in order for it to feel safe to let this go?
Create a Ritual
I found creating a ritual was really helpful in my letting go process as I like to actually do an action. Try writing down all your thoughts and everything you want to let go of or writing a letter to the person you want to let go and (safely) burn it. You can really make it a moment - you can put music on, light candles, do it when it’s a full moon…
Try these or think about a ritual that you feel would help you best in your letting go process.
Use a Mantra
Create a mantra that you can repeat to yourself while you’re in the process of letting this go. You can come back to it every time your mind wants to focus on the EXACT thing you no longer want to be thinking about. This might be something like the following – but again create something which resonates with you and makes you feel safe and supported.
▫ I’m choosing to let this go
▫ Every day I feel lighter, knowing I’m letting this go
▫ It’s safe for me to let this go and move on with my life
I hope you know you’re not alone in feeling like you have no idea how to actually let go. It’s a process and I really hope these suggestions help. I encourage you to try them out and see what works best for you. If you would like to know how I could support you with the letting go process please do get in touch here.
Elyssa x
